Interlocking Squares: David (12)
Tuesday 31 January 2006
Some things you do without knowing why. Or even that you're about to do them.
Like that time you were fifteen, and your dad dropped you off at school for one of those lame Saturday morning co-curricular practice things. You walked slowly towards the school until his car had gone out of sight, then you picked up the pace and just kept on walking, past the school, past the tidy rows of houses, into town with its maze of streets and rushing crowds. You only called home when you ran out of money, which didn't take long because you had a grand total of fifteen ringgit on you.
Or that time you were twenty, with exams and school behind you forever, or so you felt at the time. You were wasting your first full day of freedom wandering aimlessly through the back streets and alleys of town. You'd almost gone past one of those sleazy-looking little tattoo shops when you stopped, turned back and went in. It hurt as much as you'd heard it would, getting it done, but the result didn't look too bad – a dragon coiled around a rose. That evening you made sure you went down to dinner wearing a sleeveless shirt. Your mum broke down because she couldn't figure out where it had all gone wrong, she'd tried so hard and you used to be such a sweet little baby. Your dad only looked at you for a long time and asked why. As if he expected you to have an answer beyond I just felt like it.
Or like just now, when you snatched the phone out of your roommate's hand.
You don't know what you were thinking when you did that, and to tell the truth, you aren't too bothered about that right now. You aren't too bothered about much of anything, in fact: that feeling of detachment, as if your mind is wrapped in a haze of unreality, connected to the here and now only enough to feel a faint pleasure in overtaking cars larger and with more powerful engines than yours as you force your way through the downtown traffic.
Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do. You've just got to do something.
Sometimes you've just got to go with the flow. And hope you can find cover when the explosion comes.
Some things you do without knowing why. Or even that you're about to do them.
Like that time you were fifteen, and your dad dropped you off at school for one of those lame Saturday morning co-curricular practice things. You walked slowly towards the school until his car had gone out of sight, then you picked up the pace and just kept on walking, past the school, past the tidy rows of houses, into town with its maze of streets and rushing crowds. You only called home when you ran out of money, which didn't take long because you had a grand total of fifteen ringgit on you.
Or that time you were twenty, with exams and school behind you forever, or so you felt at the time. You were wasting your first full day of freedom wandering aimlessly through the back streets and alleys of town. You'd almost gone past one of those sleazy-looking little tattoo shops when you stopped, turned back and went in. It hurt as much as you'd heard it would, getting it done, but the result didn't look too bad – a dragon coiled around a rose. That evening you made sure you went down to dinner wearing a sleeveless shirt. Your mum broke down because she couldn't figure out where it had all gone wrong, she'd tried so hard and you used to be such a sweet little baby. Your dad only looked at you for a long time and asked why. As if he expected you to have an answer beyond I just felt like it.
Or like just now, when you snatched the phone out of your roommate's hand.
You don't know what you were thinking when you did that, and to tell the truth, you aren't too bothered about that right now. You aren't too bothered about much of anything, in fact: that feeling of detachment, as if your mind is wrapped in a haze of unreality, connected to the here and now only enough to feel a faint pleasure in overtaking cars larger and with more powerful engines than yours as you force your way through the downtown traffic.
Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do. You've just got to do something.
Sometimes you've just got to go with the flow. And hope you can find cover when the explosion comes.
8:13 PM, December 04, 2006
angsty. david's getting angsty. but yeah, i like his style. top
11:17 PM, December 04, 2006
David is the poster child for young adult angst.
He's just frustrated, the poor guy :) top